Posts from the ‘My Resolutions’ Category

My last cigarettes of year 2012

All right, today will be the day I quit smoking. After smoking for so many years… for more than 10 years. I guess it is time to stop for good. I am always aware that my room smells more smoky than smelly. Most guys and boys have a smelly room. But mine smells smoky which is not normal. It is normal as I smoked regularly in my own room. I even have a collection of ash tray too. Hmm… it is time to stop for good. I want my room to smell normal.

If you do some simple maths, assuming a packet of cigarettes cost around $10 SGD. Given the fact that I take 2 packet per day and using a nominal number for a month, eg. 30 days. I will spend around $20 SGD x 30 = $600 SGD. I have to stop as I have plans to further my study in August 2012 if I got a place in the university. I will know by April 2012 if the university wants me. 🙂 Wish me good luck for that.

Another things I need to note is organising and coping with my daily life.  For the past few years, my life have been in a mess. I have noticed that, but I never wants to admit it. I always give myself excuses, I always told myself there is no need to worry at all. But now, I have to change this idiotic and childish point of view. It is apparent that my current situation is caused by my nonsensical concept.

I have choose to ignore many things in life. Many chances have slipped, and yes in the past… I assumed everything is fated and preordained. But now I feel that it’s better to take life in my own hands. Self sympathy will get you no where in life. It has also been observed that I no longer enjoyed my undesirable and dark activities. I kind of detest the me in the past and the activities I engaged myself in for the past few years.

Currently my goals have been set. Smoking cessation will start today… after the posting of these blog.  As for the rest, It will be on a step by step basis. I can’t change overnight. It took me quite a while to realised and understand about myself. Changing is lifetime event. Slow and steadiness is the key to implementations.

There are quite a lot of factors that cause me to change. One of them is a nice lady I know of. And she has given me the greatest impact to right things wrong. Whether things will work out a not. That is the only thing I will leave  to fate and destiny but I do hope for a miracles or assistances from heaven. Note that I will not forget the fact that time and effort is the most crucial things in life for this miracle to occur. 🙂


A strange complicated thought that drives me crazy….

Hmm… I do wonder sometimes if fate and destiny have always been fond of making fun of folks. Or is it the other way round… us, that mock fate and destiny by denying it’s existence. Or have we always misinterpreted affinity in the wrong way.

It doesn’t matters anymore to me at least. In the past, I will hold on to my dreams and desire and make myself the enemy of the world if the need arises. After a series of ordeals and unsightly events. I have learned  to abolish that selfish thoughts that I have protected with my pride for the past 2 decades.

My resolutions have been set and decided in my previous post. So this is more like a addendum to it. I have met many peoples who makes me think and wonder. Some are colleagues, some are good friends and family members who have accepted me for ages yet unappreciated by me. Now I am glad that the knot in my heart has finally been untangled. Giving me better insight to a better and beautiful mind.

Acceptances of oneself flaws and errs has indeed widen my horizon and perked my visions to another level. I find it amazing that I never debate with my colleagues anymore unless there is really a need to do so.

Most importantly, I am really glad I met a really special someone who changes a lot in me to a completely different level. I do not know what to said about that either. I can only allow effort, time, fate and destiny to prove that our affinity are genuine and I am truly sincere.

A thought to share

Hmm… I have always thought that I understand women well until recently. I realised that is not true at all. I don’t understand them as well as I thought at all. I have always assume that all women including men are like machines in the past…. but I was totally wrong…. women are not machines at all.

There is no such times as a circuit diagrams nor a schematic drawings for women. Each one and individual have their own types uniquely in contrast with each one another. Even the characters defers from one another. It’s wrong to define all women as one. We should learn to appreciate and understand each one of them for who they are.

In the past, my selfish and self centered concept or rather point of view has blinded me to the extend I will think of women more like a damaged machine that need troubleshooting. But I was wrong, it is impossible to do that in the end.  Women needs no troubleshooting at all… what they desired is understanding and appreciation.

Time, fate and destiny plays a major part in life. Affinity is a by product of all three with a blend of efforts and determinations.

Yawnzzz… I really need to sleep already….


Finale of 2011 and a brand new Opening of 2012

Things weren’t smooth in the year 2011. But I am glad I have survived it in the end. 

I have set a few resoutions in year 2011 but I guess none of it has been successful in the end.

Well forget about the past, it’s time for the present. Below are a list of resolutions I hope to achieve in year 2012.

  1. Spending more time with my parents.
  2. Visiting my relatives or rather embracing them again
    • Whatever have happen in the past is the past. I should learn to look ahead and move on.
    • I can’t deny the helping hands they have offered to my family when they realised my dad conditions at all. We Asians always repays gratitude with honour.
  3. Believing in Religion again.
    • I have to admit, I always thought that by accepting consequences and retribution, I would pay off my karma. I was wrong. We can never wipe off the past, we can only atone to it. But then, atoning is only possible when you are remorseful and regretful of your errs. Which I was never at all remorseful nor regretful about. But now I have learn.
  4. Learning Vietnamese!!!
    • Yup… Learning Vietnamese is also part of my resolution. Sad but true, I think this is one of the resolution I set last year that was quite successful
    • Hmm…. getting a Vietnamese wife? LOL I need to ask my mum about that I guess.
    • In the past, I learn it for some other “unsightly” or rather “darker” purposes. But now I am learning in the view of appreciation and respect.
    • I must said it has indirectly helps to articulate my other tongues too. I should have realised that the reason why my speech is always faster than most is because I never learn or try to speak in a correct manner in the past.
    • ah…. I think many would why I have more things to said about learning Vietnamese. ^^
  5. Quit smoking… 
    • hmm using the calculator to count. If I assume each packet of cigarettes to be SGD $10. I need two packets a day. so in a month I spend around $600 on cigarettes. That is actually approximately equal to the salary of my colleague in Vietnam… lol
Hmm… that’s all folks… I think 5 goals with so many sub clause is not going to be easy to achieve. But I am already 1/2 way through on a few of them except for number 5. I just need to maintain the pace.
Alex See Hoe Pin
Từ hòa Bân (This is my Vietnamese Name. I translated it directly from a Han-Viet Dictionay when I was in HCM City) ^^

A cultural understanding of vietnam

Even though I wasn’t able to complete my job fully for this trip. I have got the best experience ever. Strange but true… I have realised that we Singaporeans are really blissful when compared to other countries in South East Asia. Our inflation are indeed high but still it’s not really impossible for us to have a balance meal.

We are all aware that things are cheap in Vietnam. But are we aware that a huge majority are earning less than around $100 to $150 USD/month. Is that really enough for them to spend? It is not at all. A lot of them are actually living on vegetables as a staple because they can’t even afford meat at all. In Vietnam they are a lot of restaurants but most of it are only visited by foreigners. Most of the locals would find it luxurious to be in it. Imagine a wage of around $300 to $450 USD for those educated workers or executives. Spending approximately $10 USD for a meal for 2. Is this rate really in proportion for their salary scheme?

Watching a movie is actually just like what you would pay in Singapore. Is thier salary really enough for the locals? I would said in proportion, our salary are higher than theirs. And don’t think everything is cheap in Vietnam. Housing and land are not cheap there either when you use their salary as a guideline.

Therefore it is sad but true that we are just like ignorant fools who are never content with ourselves. We choose to indulge ourselves in luxury and blame the government for not moderating the inflation. We can always choose to live and eat simply. Could it be that our naive and vain mindset blended with pride has confuse us?

We don’t see much beggars or street peddlers who are not even old to shave in Singapore. Nor do we see the aftermath of “agent orange” in Singapore.

And honestly saying…. the usual activities of a young Vietnamese is not partying. Most of them spend their times gathering in the Parks chitchat-ing over a cup of drinks mainly ca phe for a whole day. The locals call it ground coffee I think because they just sit on the ground or anywhere they please for hours.

Well I guess we are poor and poorer mainly because we have overspend. I think it’s time for me for really think carefully and learn from our neighboring countries and communities.

My resolution

Well…. I won’t deny I am sad and I should be resting at home. But I really need to destress once in a while. Hmm… kbox is totally different from the rest of the KTV I usually go. No one would believe I am turning over a new leaf and especially the special someone who has the greatest impact on me. But I guess this is life. Being a different person is really a difficult task for me…. but I will not give upup

A concept of team bonding

I was interrogated on Monday for my misbehaviour during a fake team bonding events where the CEO is present. I can’t help but think, did I do the correct thing by not participating in their so call events. Well…. the answer is as followed…..

I don’t think team bonding is a one time event. It should be an daily practice and habit. Why should we wait till the CEO is around then arrange for a compulsory bonding which sounds so fake?

I am aware and my management have acknowledge that the CEO is more important than my pending jobs too. They also agreed to the fact that this is an opportunity for them to polish the apples too. Of course I am referring to peaches, if you translate it into hokkein. But anyway apple polisher is the same as a peach polisher (hokkein).

Apart from that I was asked why I change into a different person within months. Well, the reason is simple. I don’t see the bond of a team at all in my company. What I see is the following. It’s normal to hear comments like, “I am sorry, this is not under my area of responsibility!! please settle it yourself…” but if the MD (European) were to asked them. the replies will be as followed, “No issues on that Sir!! I can easily get it done.”

I am sorry I really can’t visualise any signs of a bonding at all. I only visualise a team of polishing cloth of class avant grande. Therefore I rather be condemn than to degrade myself. Oh ya… my contracts stated that getting sack entilted me to 3 months salary. It’s more than what we will get for my Bonus… LOL… So I started to become aggressive towards my colleagues and agents and even to the customer. But do note, my quality work is still top notch.

Well, I told the management, I could put on my poker face again and change my attitude again to the past, only on one condition… I want the choice to choose if I want to participate in a fake team bonding event.

Surprisingly, they agreed to it…. lol… how cheap can this company get. Well. At least now I need to degrade myself anymore. I could staying on for a year or two or wait for them to sack me. I know they won’t do that… It’s painful for them to pay me 4 months instead of 3 months.